Local 6.5 Woman Refuses to Date Ugly People, Says Her Love is Not Literally Blind
"I support body positivity, just not in my own dating pool."
By Stagtire’s Superficial Standards Correspondent, Who’s Also Kind of a 6.5
Alt Text: A humorous digital illustration of a red-haired woman applying lip gloss. She has a confident, slightly smug expression as she looks at herself in a compact mirror. The background is minimalistic, keeping the focus on her self-assured demeanor and the action of applying lip gloss.
Local woman Cissy Stag has had enough of society's pressure to look past appearances. After years of hearing phrases like “It’s what’s on the inside that counts” and “Give them a chance, they have a great personality,” she has taken a stand: Her love is not, and never will be, literally blind.
“Look, I’m realistic,” Cissy explained, applying lip gloss while adjusting her hinge settings to ‘tall and hot only.’ “I’m not a perfect 10, but I’m also not out here pretending I don’t have eyes.”
Despite accusations of shallowness, Cissy insists that she’s simply being honest about her preferences.
THE ‘AM I OUT OF HIS LEAGUE?’ STUDY
Cissy’s stance isn’t just personal—it’s scientifically backed by years of rigorous, self-led research.
“Every time I’ve lowered my standards, I’ve regretted it,” she said, scrolling through her texts while ignoring three different men with 'kind eyes' but poor bone structure. “At this point, it’s a public service to be upfront about what I can and cannot tolerate.”
Her findings include:
✅ Men below a 7 are 80% more likely to text ‘wyd’ at 2 AM
✅ If their beard is doing the ‘barely connecting’ thing, they will also struggle to commit
✅ If you have to tell yourself ‘he’s funny’ more than twice, he is not funny
THE BACKLASH: UGLY MEN SPEAK OUT
Cissy’s stance has sparked outrage among men who identify as ‘good guys who deserve a chance.’
“She’s just perpetuating unrealistic standards,” said local 5.5 Greg Thompson, who has been described as “a catch if you squint.” “Love is about connection, not abs.”
Despite the criticism, Cissy remains steadfast.
“I don’t make the rules,” she shrugged, “I just enforce them.”
THE FUTURE: RAISING THE BAR (AND HER STANDARDS)
Moving forward, Cissy has no plans to change her approach. She encourages others to do the same.
“Life is too short for bad sex and weak jawlines,” she stated. “Just be hot. It’s literally free.”
At press time, Cissy was last seen unmatching a man who claimed to be ‘gym active’ but had no visible traps.
UP NEXT ON STAGTIRE:
Woman Willing to Date Average-Looking Men, Just Not in Public
“I Don’t Have a Type,” Says Woman Who Only Dates Variations of the Same Guy
Local Man Insists Personality Matters, Is Only Attracted to Women Under 25
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