Couple Posts Loving Tribute on Instagram, Fights in Private Chat 10 Minutes Later
"Happy Valentine’s Day to my best friend, my rock, my forever person! ❤️"
-Posted 10 minutes before all hell broke loose.
By Stagtire’s Social Media Romance Correspondent, Who May or May Not Have Been at Brunch 🥂😬🤡
Alt Text: An illustrated couple posing at the beach, smiling for a selfie with a heavily filtered Instagram aesthetic. The image is framed as a hybrid between a Polaroid and an Instagram post, with a heart icon and other social media elements visible on the border. The man wears a white tank top and sunglasses, while the woman wears a pink bikini and oversized sunglasses. Their features are artificially smoothed and glowing under exaggerated lighting. In the background, palm trees, beach chairs, and a turquoise ocean create a dreamy vacation setting, slightly blurred to enhance the hyper-stylized, over-edited social media feel.
This Valentine’s Day, as social media is flooded with long, heartfelt posts about undying love, one couple’s picture-perfect tribute has already aged like milk.
Sources confirm that local couple Ashley and Derek—together for five years, publicly happy for three—have just finished posting adorably curated tributes to one another before immediately launching into a heated, emoji-free argument in private messages.
Love in the Time of Aesthetic Filters
Ashley’s post featured a photo dump of Derek looking candid but hot, paired with a paragraph so touching it could bring a Hallmark executive to tears. It read, in part:
“I never knew what love was until I met you. You are my best friend, my safe place, my greatest adventure. I thank the universe for you every day.”
Meanwhile, Derek’s tribute to Ashley was notably shorter but included at least two heart emojis, suggesting he’d at least put in some effort.
“Happy Valentine’s Day to my beautiful girl. Love you so much ❤️❤️”
Their followers liked, commented, and shared the love—completely unaware that Derek had forgotten to take out the trash again, and Ashley had just discovered a Venmo payment labeled ‘brunch’ that did not include her.
10 Minutes Later: War Erupts in the DMs
Screenshots obtained by sources (Ashley’s best friend, who is absolutely eating this up) reveal that the argument escalated quickly:
Ashley: I just think it’s interesting that you Venmo’d someone $32 for “brunch” when you told me you were busy that morning.
Derek: Oh my god. Are you serious right now?
Ashley: Oh, I’m sorry, did I ruin the aesthetic?
Derek: IT WAS FOR A WORK THING.
Ashley: Funny. I didn’t see “work thing” in your caption. Just “love you so much ❤️❤️.”
Derek: Oh my god.
The Aftermath: Maintaining the Illusion
Despite the battle raging in private, neither Ashley nor Derek has taken down their posts. In fact, Ashley has doubled down by posting a Story that reads:
"If they wanted to, they would." 😌💅 #KnowYourWorth
Meanwhile, Derek has responded in the only way a man in crisis knows how: by posting a gym selfie captioned “Focusing on myself.”
At press time, Ashley’s Venmo request for $32 remains unanswered.
Ashley’s Best Friend Weighs In
Sources close to Ashley—primarily her so-called best friend, Brittany, who seems a little too entertained by the drama—offered some insight. "Ashley says she’s done, but she’s absolutely refreshing the Venmo page like it's a countdown clock," Brittany reports, smirking. "She sent his gym selfie to the group chat with ‘LMAO’ but let’s be real—she’s seething. Honestly, I give it two days before she posts a ‘Some people will disappoint you’ quote with a black-and-white selfie."
Up Next:
📖 How to Soft Launch Your New Relationship Without Looking Like a Serial Dater
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📖 The Science of the Couple’s Matching Pajama Christmas Photo: Who’s Actually Happy and Who’s One Fight Away from a Breakup?
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