Why I Am a Saint for Throwing Away My FP’s Used Coffee Cup Instead of Casting a Spell on Him
Alt Text: “A line-art style illustration with soft colors depicting a delicate hand with long, pointed, witchy manicured nails elegantly throwing a coffee cup into a trashcan. The hand is gracefully positioned with the correct number of fingers, emphasizing movement. The minimalist scene features clean, bold outlines and subtle shading, with the trashcan clearly visible to reinforce the act of discarding the cup.”
Let’s be honest—if you have BPD, you know the urge to possess is real. It’s not just about wanting someone; it’s about wanting them cosmically, existentially, in ways that may or may not be ethically sound. So when I found myself holding my Favorite Person’s (FP’s) discarded coffee cup, tissues, and—let’s be real—his DNA, I had two choices:
Throw it away like a functional adult.
Use it as an artifact for spellcasting, ritual work, or something otherwise unhinged.
The fact that I chose the first option? Saint behavior.
The Risks of Witchcraft with BPD: A Cautionary Tale
As someone who has flirted with both esotericism and emotional intensity, let me break down the very real risks of attempting witchcraft when you have BPD:
Obsession Reinforcement: If you think you hyperfixate now, wait until you’re staring at a candle for three hours hoping it flickers the right way so you know he’s thinking about you.
Impulse Control? What Impulse Control? Spells require patience, and BPD thrives on instant gratification. Are you really going to wait for the universe to align, or will you just text him 57 times instead?
Emotional Dysregulation Meets the Occult: If the spell doesn’t work, you’re convinced it’s a sign you’re cursed. If it does work, you might spiral into was this real love or just dark magic existentialism.
The Ethics of It All: Even if we don’t go full “love spell” manipulation, there’s still something unsettling about harnessing the forces of the universe to make your FP text back faster. Is this what the Goddess intended?
Let’s just say, BPD and witchcraft can be a volatile mix.
The Rewards of NOT Doing the Spell (i.e., Why I Am Basically a Martyr)
By resisting the temptation to hoard his DNA like a Victorian-era love-struck alchemist, I have achieved the following:
Personal Growth: I let go of control. (Kind of.)
A Cleaner Apartment: The trash can received his used tissues, and I did not turn them into a talisman. A win for hygiene and mental health.
Maintaining the Illusion of Normalcy: No accidental mentions of “Oh yeah, I totally could’ve bound your soul to mine with a coffee cup but decided against it.”
Respect for Free Will: Even though he probably would never know, I know. And that, my friends, is what separates a Saint from a Sorceress.
Conclusion: The Higher Path
Choosing not to engage in spellcraft over my FP’s discarded items was an act of restraint, virtue, and possibly divine intervention. Some would say this is a low bar, but if you have BPD, you understand that every moment we choose sanity over chaos is a spiritual victory.
So yes, I am basically a saint. And if you, too, have resisted the dark pull of impulsive emotional sorcery? You might be one, too.
Blessed be. ✨
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Why I Should Have Done It
Okay, but hear me out—there are compelling reasons why spellcasting might have been the better choice:
Closure on My Terms: Instead of waiting around for divine intervention, I could’ve made the universe give me an answer. That’s agency, baby.
Symbolic Satisfaction: Imagine burning his coffee cup remnants under the full moon while chanting something cryptic. Feels powerful, right?
At Least It’s Healthier Than Texting: There’s a strong argument that doing a spell and moving on is less toxic than sending a long-winded, unhinged message at 2 AM.
Manifesting the Outcome We Want: If reality is just a simulation, are we really not supposed to hack it when necessary?
That being said, I took the high road. But next time? Who’s to say I won’t be charging crystals under the moon and whispering his name into the void?
Legal Disclaimer: This article is intended for entertainment and humorous purposes only. The author is, admittedly, full of shit. This does not constitute professional advice on spellcasting, psychology, or any other topic. If you are genuinely interested in the risks and rewards of casting spells, consult with a real witch or experienced practitioner. Additionally, if you struggle with impulse control or emotional distress, consider seeking professional guidance from a licensed therapist or mental health professional.
